/Ertelemecilik bir işe başlamak ve bitirmekten kaynaklanan kaygıyla başa çıkma yollarından biridir/ diye başlamış kitap. En önemli hastalıklarımdan biri olduğu için okudum ama içinde bendenizi tedavi edecek pek bir şey yoktu.

*Tembelim ama deva arıyorum.*

Woody Allen'ın Hayat zordur, sonra ölürsün diye bir lafı varmış. Tembellerin böyle hissettiğini söylüyor. Doğru bence. Hayat zor ve rahat diye bir şey yok. Bu kitap bizi stresten uzak oyuna sevkedeceğini söylüyor ama dediğim gibi, bu çok zor.

Hem stresi ben yaratmıyorum ki.

Nasıl bir çaresi varmış? Evvela kendimizi psikolojik bir güvenlik filesine bağlı hissetmeliymişiz. Düşme tehlikemizin olmadığı, yapmamız gereken işi yapmazsak hayatımızın kararacağı gibi düşünceler bizi felç ediyormuş. Bunun yerine en kötü ne olabilir ki? veya işe ne zaman başlayabilirim? diye düşünmeliymişiz.

Kendimizle pozitif konuşunca daha rahat hissedecekmişiz ve böylece tembellik etmeyip, işimizi yapabilecekmişiz.

İşin içinde (tabii ki) 3-boyutlu düşünce, ters takvim ve narandevu diye laflar da var. 3 boyutlu düşünce sanırım hem işi, hem oyunu hem başka bir şeyi daha düşünmek. Ters takvim işin biteceği tarihten geri doğru gereken adımların yapılması gereken tarihleri bulmak. Narandevu nedir, henüz okumadım veya aklımda kalmadı.

Arkadaşım, proje adımlarının ne zaman biteceğini bilsem, zaten yaparım. Mesele o adımların ne olduğunu, kimin yapacağını ve ne zaman biteceğini bilememek. Yaptığımız işlerin çoğunda bu bilgilere sahip değiliz, buna rağmen harekete geçirebiliyor musun, ben ona bakıyorum.

/Gerçekçi hedefler koymak/ diyor bir bölüm. Çok işe üşeniyorsan, az iş yap de de, bütün bu lafazanlığın gerçek anlamını bilelim. Kitabın ilk basımı 89'daymış. (Geçen yüzyıl!) O zaman için büyük yenilik sayılabilir bunlar ama şimdilerde (en azından benim için) işe yaramayan fikirler. Kitabın başında tembellik zaman yönetimiyle ilgili değildir diyor ama anlattığı çözümler de hep zaman yönetimiyle alakalı.

Tembellik kalbini bürüdüğünde insanın kendini mefluç etmemesi gerek, bunun için de çalışmaya başlaması ve azıcık iş yapması dışında bir çare yok. O ilk adımı kolay attırabilirsen, devamı da geliyor.

Söylediği doğrular da çok. Başarı korkusundan veya bu iş biterse sorumluluklarım artacak korkusundan herkes bahsetmez. İnsanların başarısız olmalarının sebepleri arasında yalnız kalmaktan korkmaları bile vardır, bunu da anlatıyor, doğru. Arızanın nerelerde çıktığı konusunda haklı, ancak sunduğu çözümlerin bunlara bir faydası yok.

Alıntılar

The Now Habit exercises help you break the cycle of procrastination by removing the stigma of calling yourself “a procrastinator” who’s burdened by having to get so many things done. (p. 6)

Advances in research conducted by NIH (the National Institutes of Health) and in the fields of neuropsychology and behavioral medicine over the last twenty years have proven that we can take control over our negative habits if we follow a series of steps. (p. 7)

The cycle starts with the pressure of being overwhelmed and ends with an attempt to escape through procrastination. (p. 9)

People who have been procrastinating for years on major life goals are already pretty good at self-criticism. (p. 9)

Procrastination is a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision. (p. 11)

those most vulnerable to procrastination are those who feel the most threatened by difficulty in starting a project, criticism, failure, and the loss of other opportunities (p. 11)

“Life is hard, and then you die,” (p. 11)

Creating safety will show you how to put a psychological safety net (p. 13)

Reprogramming negative attitudes through positive self-talk (p. 13)

Using the symptom to trigger the cure will (p. 13)

Guilt-free play will teach you how to strategically schedule your leisure time in order to shift your focus from work (p. 13)

Three-dimensional thinking and the reverse calendar (p. 13)

Making worry work for you will show you how developing plans for coping with distractions (p. 13)

Unschedule will let you see the freedom awaiting you through prescheduled guilt-free play (p. 13)

Controlled setbacks will prepare you for setbacks so that you quickly turn them into opportunities (p. 14)

Do you believe “I am what I do” or “I am my net worth”? (p. 17)

So-called procrastinators can be found in every walk of life, accomplishing much in those arenas where they have chosen to devote themselves, but totally unable to get started in others. (p. 18)

“a neurotic form of self-defensive behavior” aimed at protecting one’s self-worth. (p. 19)

Early in life they learn that all they can expect from finishing a project is criticism or so-called constructive feedback on how it might be improved. (p. 23)

I have discovered that there is one main reason why we procrastinate: it rewards us with temporary relief from stress. (p. 26)

even a seemingly counterproductive habit like procrastination is immediately followed by some reward. (p. 26)

You can use procrastination to get even with powerful authorities who place you in situations where your alternatives all seem negative. (p. 29)

they were only surface attempts at coping with deep resentment and hurt. (p. 30)

stuck—too old to look for another job, he had to stick it out without ever saying anything (p. 30)

Certainly others are frequently in positions of power to affect you and your job, and they might even try to judge your work or your skills. But they can never make you into a victim or a procrastinator. Only you can do that. (p. 31)

Perfectionism and self-criticism are, in fact, the chief causes of fear of failure. (p. 31)

a perfectionist is even more sensitive to failure because having his or her work judged “average” is tantamount to being considered “a failure as a person.” (p. 31)

Those who gain their sense of identity from many areas are more resilient when failing in any one area. (p. 32)

success in completing a project means facing some painful disincentives to success, such as moving, looking for a new job, or paying back student loans; (p. 33)

success means advancement to increasing demands (p. 33)

As the demands on your time and attention become greater, friends and family may come to resent your ambitions and your success. (p. 34)

“I learned that you’ll have more friends if you don’t give them a reason to be jealous.” (p. 34)

While Dorothy could never openly sabotage her performance, she did procrastinate in an attempt to avoid the hurt of being ostracized for her success. (p. 34)

If you haven’t had time for guilt-free play you may feel, “I really can’t enjoy my success because still more is required of me. It takes the fun out of winning.” (p. 36)

With procrastination, though, you’ve covered yourself both ways: there’s always an excuse, in case you don’t perform as well as you’d hoped; and there’s also some reserve left, if you still do succeed. (p. 37)

Procrastination has been learned, and it can be unlearned. Until now it’s been a rewarding and necessary tool for escaping tasks that seem painful and depriving. (p. 38)

Knowing how you procrastinate is even more important than knowing why. (p. 39)

Ironically, on a psychological level you are often the one who raises the board off the ground by changing a straightforward task into a test of your worth, proof that you are acceptable, or a test of whether you will be successful and happy or a failure and miserable. (p. 48)

First, you give a task or a goal the power to determine your worth and happiness. (p. 50)

Second, you use perfectionism to raise the task 100 feet above the ground, so (p. 50)

Third, you find yourself frozen with anxiety (p. 51)

Fourth, you then use procrastination to escape your dilemma, which brings the deadline closer, creating time pressure, a higher level of anxiety, and a more immediate and frightening threat than even your fear of failure or of criticism for (p. 51)

Fifth and last stage, you then use a real threat, such as a fire or a deadline, to release yourself from perfectionism and to act as a motivator . (p. 51)

Changing how you talk to yourself is a powerful tool for disengaging from procrastination patterns of hesitation and indecision. Through (p. 56)

what has become more important to me over the years is the lesson of empowerment that comes from changing a “have to” into a choice. From Resistance to Commitment Limited options and unpleasant choices abound in life. (p. 63)

For procrastinators blocked by an addiction to perfectionism, I often recommend a direct attack to unlearn this insidious pattern. (p. 70)

On the other hand, those who were making good progress toward finishing in a year were dedicated and committed to their leisure time. (p. 76)

“Personally I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.” (p. 78)

This model of motivation indicates that there’s a low chance that you’ll start to work on a task whose immediate results are isolation and pain, and whose rewards are uncertain and in the distant future. (p. 80)

Regularly scheduled periods of guilt-free play will give you a fresh outlook on work. Your play time will let you experience your own native curiosity and willingness to do good, quality work. (p. 87)

Stress Prayer: Grant me the stubbornness to struggle against things I cannot change; the inertia to avoid work on my own behaviors and attitudes which I can change; and the foolishness to ignore the differences between external events beyond my control and my own controllable reactions. But most of all, grant me a contempt for my own human imperfection and the limits of human control. (p. 87)

The three major fears that block action and create procrastination are the terror of being overwhelmed, the fear of failure, and the fear of not finishing. (p. 88)

Insist on knowing the one right place to start. The indecision and delay in looking for the one right place keeps you from getting on to the rest of the project. (p. 91)

As you picture several smaller deadlines—all within your control—the paralysis caused by trying to complete a large project (with dire consequences if you fail) disappears. (p. 92)

Who of you can add one moment to his life’s course by worrying? So, if you cannot bring about that little, why be anxious about the rest?” (p. 94)

Parents, bosses, and teachers often use threats and images of disaster to motivate us to achieve goals they have chosen. (p. 95)

Most people wish for an illusory confidence that says, “I must know that I will win; I should have a guarantee that nothing will go wrong.” This (p. 100)

Difficulties with finishing, like fear of success, can involve certain disincentives for completing a project. (p. 100)

You’re probably seeing the work of remembering as drudgery; something to keep you from having fun. (p. 101)

She was so good at getting things started that Laura wasn’t sure if she was a real procrastinator. In (p. 101)

By literally counting her steps, Laura learned to avoid being overwhelmed by more work and to focus on what she could do, repeating, “I can take one more step.” (p. 103)

“I need to do more preparation before I can start.” Be alert to when preparation becomes procrastination. (p. 103)

To overcome this tendency, label as procrastination any tendency to run to the boss for advice or run to the library for outside solutions or further preparation. (p. 103)

“At this rate I’ll never finish.” The rate of learning and accomplishment in the beginning of a project is often slower than you’re accustomed to. (p. 104)

should have started earlier.” You got started and you need to appreciate that. (p. 104)

“There’s only more work after this.” One of the fears of success is that more will be demanded of you. (p. 104)

“It’s not working.” Self-talk such as “I’m trying, but it’s not working. What’s wrong?” can indicate perfectionism and a failure to do the work of worrying to develop alternative plans to make this (p. 105)

only need a little more time.” The engineering, sales, or production department is ready to put your work to use but you’re begging for more time to polish it and to look for glitches. (p. 105)

You may find it difficult to accept that others do not hold your high standards of quality. In fact, you may feel a little superior about that. (p. 106)

All the greatest and most important problems of life are fundamentally unsolvable. . . . [they were] not solved logically in [their] own terms but fade when confronted with a new and stronger life urge. —CARL JUNG (p. 107)

only work will diminish your anxiety. (p. 107)

The only thing that really helps is to start working. (p. 107)

The Unschedule is a weekly calender of committed recreational activities that divides the week into manageable pieces with breaks, meals, scheduled socializing, and play. In addition, it’s a record of your productive, uninterrupted work. (p. 110)

By starting with the scheduling of recreation, leisure, and quality time with friends, the Unschedule avoids one of the traps of typical programs for overcoming procrastination that begin with the scheduling of work—thereby generating an immediate image of a life devoid of fun and freedom. (p. 111)

Thirty minutes of steady work is enough to give you a sense of accomplishment without creating the fear of failure that often accompanies the scheduling of longer, less realistic periods of work that are seldom achieved or even started because they’re so overwhelming. (p. 111)

the Unschedule builds up a subconscious desire to work more and play less. (p. 112)

“Do not work more than twenty hours a week,” I insisted. “And never work more than five hours in any day on your project. Promise me that you will resist the urge to work more than twenty hours a week.” (p. 113)

Schedule only: • previously committed time such as meals, sleep, meetings • free time, recreation, leisure reading • socializing, lunches and dinners with friends • health activities such as swimming, running, tennis, working out at the gym • routine structured events such as commuting time, classes, medical appointments (p. 115)

Fill in your Unschedule with work on projects only after you have completed at least one-half hour. (p. 115)

Unschedule represents quality work, not trips to get potato chips or to make calls. (p. 116)

Reward yourself with a break or a change to a more enjoyable task after each period worked. (p. 116)

Keep track of the number of quality hours worked each day and each week. (p. 116)

Always leave at least one full day a week for recreation and any small chores you wish to take care of. (p. 116)

Before deciding to go to a recreational activity or social commitment, take time out for just thirty minutes of work on your project. (p. 117)

Aim for thirty minutes of quality, focused work. (p. 118)

Keep starting. Finishing will take care of itself. When it is time to start the last thirty minutes that will finish the project, that too will be an act of starting—the start of the conclusion of your current project, as well as the beginning of your next. (p. 118)

Never end “down.” That is, never stop work when you’re blocked or at the end of a section. Remember “Grandma’s Principle”: to create good habits your breaks and treats must follow some work. (p. 118)

Without a record of your legitimate commitments to leisure, you’re more apt to feel guilty about lost time or to feel depressed when you see blank spaces on your schedule and can’t remember how you spent the time. (p. 122)

One of the many fringe benefits of pre-scheduling your leisure activities is that, when one of them is canceled, you can suddenly find yourself thinking with relief, “I have free time; I can work.” (p. 125)

Characteristics of the flow state include calm, focused energy; time expansion; delight at new ideas; ease at avoiding or solving problems; and enhanced concentration. (p. 126)

Trying to be creative (or to relax and concentrate) can become almost impossible if the so-called practical part of your brain is attempting to supervise, criticize, and fix every possible error before your intuitive side has had a chance to gain confidence at an awkward or unpleasant task. (p. 128)

The pleasure of creativity is the greatest pleasure in the world. —SAMMY KAHN ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING SONGWRITER (p. 129)

Focusing is a two-minute procedure for shifting rapidly to the flow state by replacing guilt and stress with a stress-free focus on the present. (p. 130)

Successful people fail many times and bounce back, refusing to let any one failure define their worth. In spite of the difficulties and failures they face in life, successful people learn to be resilient and carry on. (p. 144)

Charles Garfield tells us that the trajectory of the Apollo moon rocket was off course 90 percent of the time. By acknowledging the deviations from the expected path, the scientists were able to repeatedly make the necessary corrections and achieve an imperfect, but adequate, trajectory to the moon. (p. 145)

Being a champion—a consistent producer—requires that you forgive yourself for errors and losing streaks (p. 146)

I discovered that an essential part of their training as long-distance runners involves letting go of the goal and staying in the process—for over two hours. (p. 149)

the problem is not that you can’t concentrate, but that your attention is drawn to something you’d rather not be concentrating on or worrying about, such as your boss’s potential criticism or how badly you’d like to be finished. (p. 150)

Strong Emotions. This is the one type of distraction that deserves your immediate attention. You may be using work as an attempt to distract yourself from facing strong emotions regarding a loved one, confrontations with difficult people, or medical or financial concerns. (p. 151)

Warnings of Danger. Real or imagined threats will interrupt your ability to concentrate by stimulating an adrenaline reaction. (p. 152)

“To-Do” Reminders. While you’re immersed in a difficult project, that quart of milk you have to buy or some other “to-do list” item will suddenly haunt you for no apparent reason. (p. 152)

Escape Fantasies. If you anticipate long periods of deprivation, you can expect an increase in fantasies about food, sex, and vacations. Record your escape fantasies to plan your future guilt-free play. Deciding (p. 152)

UFOs—Unidentified Flights of Originality. Creative and often seductive thoughts that cannot be fathomed at this time may fly through your mind while you are working on a project. These may be very creative associations but they are probably not useful to you at this time. (p. 152)

By using mental rehearsal you can find yourself remembering to start on your project at the preprogrammed time. You will have given your mind a picture it can grasp and a message it can cooperate (p. 155)

One of the best-kept secrets of successful producers is their ability to let go of goals that cannot be achieved or started in the near future. (p. 156)

Recognize the work of procrastinating. Let go of the fantasy that you can escape work by procrastinating. There is no path in life that requires no effort. (p. 157)

even feeling guilty because of procrastinating takes some effort. (p. 158)

player, said about his daily exercise routine, “I hate sit-ups. If I leave them for last I dread my entire workout. It ruins my attitude about the whole workout. (p. 159)

Create functional, observable goals. Vague goals must be translated into something tangible you can do. (p. 159)

When employees can be more than victims, passively complying with demands and threats, they can drop resistance to authority and commit their motivation and creativity to getting the job done rather than avoiding punishment. (p. 163)

No matter how carefully phrased, many important orders require complex implementations. (p. 167)

praise should precede even the mildest form of recommendation for improvement. (p. 169)

Asking your workers to repeat difficult and complex tasks wastes their efforts and reinforces procrastination. (p. 171)

success. I wanted David and Karen to grasp the fact that if these underlying fears could be allayed, the learned tactic of procrastination could rapidly be unlearned. (p. 175)